How To Deal With In-Laws Living With You: My Mother In Law Is Ruining Our Marriage
How to deal with in-laws living with you - My mother in law is ruining our marriage.
Marriage should only be about you and your spouse and not with anyone else. But what happens if your parents as well as you in-laws will interfere? This would definitely lead to major conflicts that could put a strain in your relationship with your spouse. Read on to find out how to deal with issues involving your in-laws.
Unite as a Couple
When your in-laws get in the way in your marriage life, make sure that you and your spouse should be ready to unite as a couple in order to protect your marriage. Refuse to listen to what your in-laws might say about you and do not listen to whatever complaints your parents have about your spouse. Always make sure that you prioritize your partner over your parents or your in-laws.
Draw Boundaries
It is okay to sometimes listen to what our in-laws and parents might say, but you should know how to draw boundaries. If you feel that what they are doing could cause distraction in your marriage, then be brave enough to ignore their advices and go on with your marriage life on your own. Remember, it's your husband that you choose to marry and not your in-laws, so they have nothing to do with whatever decisions you and your husband are going to make.
Do Not Be a Victim
Just because you respect and honor your in-laws so much, you will just accept whatever it is that they are doing against you and your spouse. If you want your marriage to remain strong and last forever, then do not just be a victim. Fight if there is a need to, or just simply avoid them and do whatever it is that you think is right for you, despite of their protests.
Refuse To Be Manipulated
Some in-laws are good at manipulation and they would often make threats just to get whatever they want from you. If they cannot get what they want, they would roll their eyes, shake their heads and then storm out of the house and then make threats. Stop your in-laws from manipulating you, because it's important that you stand your ground even if they would feel offended with your behavior.
Despite of the hatred we have for our in-laws for being intrusive with our marriage life, it is still important that we build a good relationship towards them. Remember that the attitude you have for your in-laws and your own parents will affect the way your kids would treat you as their parents. So no matter how big the problems you have for your in-laws are, always try to be respectful towards them.
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If you think that your relationship is starting to break, there are simple things that you can do to save the relationship. Most of the time, the minor irritants can develop into bigger annoyances if you do not pay attention to these. Do not underestimate the little thoughtless acts or the unseemingly annoying things uttered. These little things can pile up and cause major trouble in a relationship.
If you are married, the day to day pressures of family life and trying to make a living can take a toll on you and your spouse. These pressures tend to make you and your spouse neglect each other. These little things tend to pile up and create ill feelings between you and your partner. If left unchecked these minor irritants may heap up and develop into more serious damage to the relationship. But if you focus on these minor dents and try to put a check on them early on your chances to save the relationship and prevent major damage to it.
Here are 7 things that you can do to save the relationship and prevent the minor dents from turning into serious damage:
1. Spend quality time together. Easier said than done, you may think. But if you seriously think about it and analyze your relationship, you may be surprised to discover that you are spending too little time with your partner and more and more time with your friends and your work. This will lead to feelings of neglect which may turn into feelings of being unloved.
2. Learn to say no to your friends and work if you think you are spending too little time with your partner. Create projects or activities that will make you spend more time with your partner instead. The bond between you and your partner is created and strengthened when you have common goals to achieve.
3. Do simple activities together. Savor your favorite food together, sip your favorite wine with your partner, jog together, walk or ride a bike together. These simple activities create a venue for you and your partner to talk and bond with each other. As you do simple activities together, you give you and your partner the chance to communicate with each other.
4. Communication is key. In communicating with each other, be honest. Tell your partner how you feel. Put more emphasis on feelings and emotions and share these with your partner. When you share your feelings with each other, you will understand each other better.
5. Be physical. A simple touch, a simple caress, a simple hug. All of these go a long way to heal your differences.
6. Say "I love you". Oftentimes, we neglect to say these words, specially if we have been in a relationship for so long. We tend to assume that our partner should already know that. Think about it. Won't hearing these words from your partner give a spark to the otherwise dreary feeling you are having? Your partner would feel the same way too. One cannot say "I love you" often enough.
7. Bring back the spontaneity into your relationship. Remember the early days of your relationship? Sneak a kiss when your partner least expects it. Buy a box of chocolates on your way home from work. Take an unplanned trip.
These are only a few of the little things that you can do to get that spark back into the relationship and prevent the minor irritants from building up to more serious damage. Use your imagination.
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