I Hit My Husband During An Argument: I Lost My Temper With My Husband And Hit Him
I hit my husband during an argument - I lost my temper with my husband and hit him.
Too much self help is misleading spouses but is it true that marital fights are good for marriages? A woman wrote to a marriage counselor raising concerns over lack of conflicts in their marriage. Many people experience confusion when every body around them respect marital wars. TV shows, self-help talk shows, magazines and conversation suggests that lovers must keep on fighting now and then. If they do not fight there love is doubted. It supposedly means that spouses should argue. The pressure on this woman to argue was all over her that one day she started an argument and the funny thing is, the couple ended up laughing. Some people live in so much harmony that marital fights can never be a part of them.
The perspective about healthy relationships is changing with abundant self-help advice released by the media. One finds herself being compassionate to her spouse only to wonder if she is actually being co-dependent. It is completely understandable how watching a talk show or reading an article in a magazine can leave you wondering whether your peaceful relationship falls short. You should position yourself as your relationship expert and do not let myths about marital fights confuse you. With your common sense and intuition you will lead you marriage to a paradise where marital fights are and will never be known. Do not let other "experts" in the media, co-workers, relatives or well-intentioned friends to make you believe that a well enjoyed aspect in your marriage is actually a negative aspect.
My perspective is a never fighting couple must be having disagreements but fortunately they do not result in to major marital fights. They are lucky to possess the ability to establish productive and beneficial discussions. This way they diffuse disagreements and always resolve a conflict. This is a very healthy relationship contrary to the famous belief that disagreements act to bring partners closer together. To some extent this might be true in some circumstances but most probably they result to unproductive conflicts which form a pattern that tears the integrity of the romantic relationship and if it is extreme it can lead to violence.
If you argue and end up laughing, it is an indication that both or one of you have the two greatest coping skills namely humor and laughter. The ability to laugh together generates tremendous effects in your relationship. It is a great and marvelous natural gift that is known to release body chemicals that reduce stress and enhance your mood. Both laughter and humor are vital ingredients to a healthy relationship both emotionally and physically. Shared laughter stimulates the immune system, kill stress and tension and greatly increase the release of pain killing chemicals in the blood. The benefits also include decreased blood pressure and systemic inflammation. This automatically lifts the body spirits. The ability to see humor in a tensed atmosphere brings spouses closer together. Partners who have the ability to laugh at their situation actually feel stronger after the argument. Escalating problems are prevented long before they evolve. You find yourself too busy laughing that you rarely have time for marital fights.
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When you practice Agape love, you have discovered the secret to finding true love because Agape love is love based on principles of what is right and in the best interest of your spouse and marriage.
Agape Love is not simply an emotion, but is principles by which we deliberately live, that if applied, binds couples in relationship happiness.
In other words, it is a code of conduct that governs the way we deal with wife or husband. We make up our minds to seek the best for him or her so when emotional feelings come and go, this love remains because it is a mental decision.
When a wife practices Agape love he provides direction for her family - emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. She continues to honor her husband in a loving way even when facing marital challenges by exercising patience, kindness, understanding and tenderness.
Wives also provide financially and emotionally for the family and in addition, she's the engine that supports the family arrangement showing appreciation and respect for her husband as the two works together as one.
Let's look at a couple principles:
"Quit before the quarrel breaks out". There are no perfect marriages. Disagreements will arise from time to time. How should they be handled? Ask yourself: "Do I exercise self-control to keep my tongue in restraint? Far better to discuss disagreements as they arise rather than letting them build up inside until they reach explosive proportions.
Brooding over a wrong almost always causes it to seem worse than it really is. Discuss it now or forget it. Is it only a passing remark? Let it pass. Does it need discussing? Has your mate done something to distress you?
Don't bluntly condemn; try raising the point in question form, or making a suggestion that will open it up for discussion. For example, you might say: 'Honey, there is something I don't understand. Could you help me?' Then listen. Try to understand the other person's viewpoint.
Do you see how practicing this principle can stop marriage fights for good?
"There exists the one speaking thoughtlessly as with the stabs of a sword, but the tongue of the wise ones is a healing." Before you speak, do you stop and think what effect your words will have on your mate?
"Where there is no wood the fire goes out". Can you stop arguing, or must you have the last word?
"Do not let the sun set with you in a provoked state." Do you dwell on differences and thereby prolong the misery for both yourself and your mate? Who is to blame when something goes wrong? That's not important. What is important is how things can be made right. Be flexible, air differences, talk them out, and don't take yourself too seriously. Communicate!
In the final analysis, a happy marriage is not achieved by relying on our own thinking nor by selfishly seeking our own desires. We find genuine family happiness only by acting on principles that are specifically designed for husband and wife.
Work within the arrangement and your marriage will thrive. This is the secret of how to stop marriage fights for good!
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